I struggled today watching the IG stories of other mom’s sending off their little one’s to the first day of school because today Alastair didn’t go… It’s not that he didn’t want to, or that we didn’t register him or didn’t prepare him for the big independence day. Today I got told the Community League of Newton in Edmonton would be dissolving their preschool program, leaving me high and dry. I think what frustrates me the most, the fact that there was no forewarning and they waited this long to announce the news. Yes folks, I just got to hear his program wouldn’t be running on the day he should have been starting. It’s not that there are not enough kids registered either. Apparently, it comes down to “staffing” issues.

Now I know some of you are rolling your eyes right now. It’s just preschool right? Wrong! For me, working on this blog from home Alastair hasn’t been to daycare. He hasn’t formed many little kid relationships. Nor has he had the opportunity to get learning ready, have structured time, or get to experience group activities. I’m devastated. I tried to do everything in my power. Registered him the moment that began in March of this year, paid his deposit, started having conversations preparing him for his new classroom. Just to have it cancelled on it’s start date when almost all our local programs are full or stopped taking registrations months ago is brutal.

I haven’t had the heart to tell him yet… instead we lined up his new clothes and shoes from West Coast Kids. Gabbed about how great it’s going to be… and told him, “that Mommy was wrong about the start day…” For now, I’m going to live that little white lie while I hustle for him to try my best to fix this. So like most moms, today was a teary one. It just wasn’t for the reasons I thought it was going to be. Instead I had a good cry in private because I let him down and I got to see that excitement fade in his eyes when I told him we were’t going today.

I was going to tell you all about all the sweet shoes he found. Take first day photos and do a little Q&A with him. I thought about not sharing this, since I feel so defeated. Like I let him down. But it’s real and sometimes we all need a little real life in the blogging world too. Because it isn’t always rainbows and butterflies… sometimes it just plain sucks.

So you know where to find me this next week; calling, emailing and driving around trying to convince one of his local programs to bend the rules and let him learn. Today adults let him down, so I’m going to do some hard adulting and get what he deserves. This momma is going to try to make it right.